Dear Pastor,

I am hoping that you are well. From time to time, even more recently, women write to you seeking counselling about their reckless indiscretions. When their men are away, usually abroad, these women go on their adventures with other men. Pastor, when they become pregnant and unable to cope with the side effects of their behaviour, they write to you for advice.

A woman does not need a degree in biology to calculate the impending risks of her infidelity. Sir, I know you mean well when you inform these women to mitigate the damage with their mates. This letter is not meant to challenge your professional competency, but only to give a layman's perspective. What these women are doing should earn them no sympathy.

Here in America there was a television preacher who once said, "Wherever you go, your mind went there first." No man should accept the by-product of his woman's infidelity; if he does, this would be a miscarriage of ethics. He should walk away and don't look back.

Thanks for allowing me to blow off some steam.

N.F.

Dear N.F.,

What you are saying is that when it comes to infidelity, especially on the part of a woman, there is no room for forgiveness. Don't you think that you are much too hard on the women?

Please understand that I am in no way saying that a woman should break her marriage vows and become pregnant by another man and expect her husband to accept what she has done. However, there are times when certain circumstances may necessitate that compassion should be extended to the erring partner. That is why the Bible says, "Love covers the multitude of sin." And Jesus said to the woman who was caught in adultery, "Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more."

I understand what you are saying, brother. No one should condemn a husband who refuses to forgive his wife and take her back if she commits adultery and has a child. It takes special grace from God for that man to do so, but some men have been able to do so. You will not do it, but others will. I have said it many times, every case should be judged on its own merit. And a man should be careful not to say never.

Pastor