I am a regular reader of your column. You are a very frank counsellor and you tell it as it is. I am 17 but I don't look my age. I look like a 13-year-old and for that reason, I don't have a boyfriend. Boys see me and think I am very young. When I was 16 I had sex with a boy. He and I attended the same school and he knows my age. I live with my grandmother. She is very strict but she likes this boy and she trusts him. We went out to the Grand Gala and he had sex with me before he took me home.

Pastor, if you see me, my chest is flat. I don't have any breasts but I do feel for sex at times. My classmates always tease me about that. Sometimes when I want to look pretty, I put on false breasts that my sister sent for me from America. I want to be a lawyer. I am doing very well in school.

My grandmother says I mustn't worry about breasts, because lots of girls have breasts and that's the only thing they have. She says I should just concentrate on my education. My mother doesn't care about me, but I love my grandmother very much. I am going to buy the Star just to see my letter.

L.L.

Dear L.L.,

Grandma is wise. Follow her advice. Grandma knows that everything will be all right with you. She knows that a girl your age will be concerned about the size of her breasts and that other girls may even tease you. You will have to get some self-esteem.

It is not known why some girls' breasts do not develop during puberty. It is said that the girls do have nipples that are elevated, but the breasts do not grow in size. Why does that happen? Doctors do not have a definitive answer. However, flat-chested girls are just as healthy as other girls.

I hate to mention pregnancy, but I just want to assure you that being flat-chested will not prevent you from breastfeeding your baby when the time comes. In any event, your breasts are likely to develop to a reasonable size by that time.

You are not abnormal. However, to ease your mind, whenever it is possible, check with your doctor and discuss the matter with him or her. Please make sure that you do not have unprotected sex, don't spoil your future. Right now, the best thing to do is to concentrate on your studies. Continue to do well.

Pastor