I have been with my boyfriend for six years and all I can show from the relationship is a second-hand refrigerator he bought for me. Some men buy sexy underwear for their girlfriends and wives for Valentine. He has never bought any for me. When it was coming getting closer to Valentine's Day, I asked my boyfriend to buy me some panties. He said he wasn't sure who would pull them down off me, so he was not spending his money on that. I have bought him underpants and I didn't tell him that I didn't know who would take them off.

I want to become a Christian but he is not ready to marry me. I told him this year is a year of decision for me and if he doesn't agree to marry me, I am going to leave him. He thinks that I am joking but I am not. Every time I talk to him these days, he says that I am following what the church says, and it looks as if I have found a man there.

I am a beautiful young woman and I know that I can get a man if I leave him. I don't want to leave him because of the child we have together but, at the same time, I have to think of my soul. I am sick and tired of the situation. Please, give me your advice. Keep up the good work.

T.T.

Dear T.T,

This man has not made up his mind to marry you. If you are determined to serve the Lord and he refuses to marry you, you might have to end the relationship. I know that you are reluctant to do so because of your child. I do not understand why you are fretting. According to you, the man is selfish and, as I see it, he is not only that, but he has an unclean heart.

You wanted some special undergarments and his reason for not giving you the money to buy them is he feels that you would cheat on him. What a foolish man. I want to tell you that a mean man doesn't change easily. Although you are eager to marry him, remember that this is not a progressive man and you would have to carry most of the monthly expenses of the home.

Pastor