Dear Pastor,

This is my first time writing to you. You give sound advice. I am glad that there are people such as you who have dedicated a portion of their time to helping others in various forms of distress, especially in these times when there are other media practitioners who capitalise on people's hurt and humiliation for entertainment and ratings.

I wish to commend you on the advice and encouragement you offered the 24-year-old woman who was tricked into a one-night stand by her sleazy co-worker (‘He only wanted a one-night stand', December 18). I really felt her pain. As a matter of fact, her letter hit very close to home as I had the exact experience when I was about her age.

I was devastated after giving my body to that co-worker and was given some sloppy excuse as to why what we had commenced could not be continued. This was the day after he slept with me for the first time. For months I was unable to work at my desk. I felt so used, stupid, filthy and extremely cheap and humiliated. To rub salt into that terrible psycho-emotional wound was the fact that he gave me a STD and never even had the decency to apologise after I told him to get himself checked.

Like my 24-year-old sister in Christ, I too had self-esteem issues prior to that unfortunate event. I was useless to myself thereafter and even warmed up to the thought of having casual sex. After all, I was made cheap and valueless by this man, so what is a few more rounds with another? I felt dead, unlovable, undesirable and very lonely. I wondered why God allowed this person to come and do this to me, as I was always a relationship-minded person and never used men for their money or other acquisitions. So why did he let this happen to me?

As the years went by, I realised what happened was not because I was unlovable or unattractive or any of those things. I came to see that a sleazy man can spot vulnerability from miles away and it is that quality they zero in on. So I decided to pick up the pieces of my broken spirit and shattered dignity, and I began to tell myself positive things. I began to behave the way I was raised to behave, like a lady. I happened to work on my confidence and immersed myself in things that reaffirmed my talents and sense of self-worth.

Years after that, I just saw the things of the world as utter pointless and I gave myself to the Lord, the best decision a person, especially a broken one could ever make. I am happier and much healthier mentally, spiritually and emotionally for it. I encourage the young lady (and other women who have been hurt in that way) who have written to you to do the following:

See yourself the way God sees you in his eyes. We are more than conquerors and were made to be victors over the enemy and all his devices. Ladies, understand that the devil attacks your mind and he sends men like the ones who have used and hurt you to further his work to destroy you from within.

God bless you, Pastor Dumas. I wish you all the best for the season and for 2015 and beyond.

C.M.

Dear C.M.,

You would observe that I have not been able to publish your entire letter but I appreciate what you have written. It is very instructive and I believe it will be helpful to young women. I am glad that you have received victory through Christ Jesus and that you are in a position to help others. I would try to contact the young woman who wrote to me and pass on your request.

May the good Lord continue to bless you and grant you the desires of your heart. Continue to be strong.

Pastor