I need advice. I am married, but my husband does some very strange things. He picks his nose and puts the bugger in his mouth. He sucks my toes and then wants me to kiss him when we are making love. Whenever I tell him to brush his teeth and ensure he uses toothpaste, he always makes a fuss. My husband licks under my armpits. He licks them for a long time. I don't know why he does these things. I ask him to stop, but he doesn't. He says that I am scorning him, but, pastor, I am not. I am only saying that he is weird, and I am sick of it.

How could a man who is healthy suck his wife's toes and think nothing is wrong with it?

B.M.

Dear B.M,

Your husband is practising fetishism. Evidently, he likes disgusting types of fetish, which you cannot stand. Some folks nibble their lover's toes. He seems to take great joy in sucking them. You should make sure that they are properly washed and not cheesy. Some people do pick their noses, but to eat what they get out of their nostril is down-right dirty. That cannot be a healthy habit. But I must be careful not to condemn anybody.

What in the world does he find pleasurable about under your arm that he stays there so long? I must admit, that is fetish behaviour. I suppose he is the only one who can answer that question truthfully.

The website psychcentral.com says some other fetish practices are as follows: "Use of inanimate objects such as high heels, women's lingerie, etc. Use of sex toys such as dildos, vibrators, cock rings, nipple clamps, etc. Specific physical traits such as body size (petite, chubby, supermuscular, etc) or body parts (XL or XS-sized breasts, penis, buttocks, feet, etc).

"Other relatively common sexual fetishes include arousal involving water sports (urination), coprophilia (fecal matter), cross dressing, contortionism, verbal humiliation, body hair, skin colour, armpits, amputations, leather, rubber, denim, cigars, perfumes, food, exhibitionism, voyeurism, frotteurism, transvestites, etc In other words, almost anything can be a fetish. There is nothing clinically wrong with most fetishes. In other words, fetish behaviour is not a defining factor in sexual addiction."

I would say you are really concerned about this man's behaviour. You should go see a psychologist. I hope you will not condemn your husband and make him feel crazy. I repeat, he might be weird but is not crazy. So instead of wondering what is really happening, both of you should try and see a professional.

Pastor