Dear Pastor,

I am 17 and unemployed. I have a problem. I had a boyfriend and we met in high school. He wanted to have sex all the time. because of my low self-esteem, I let him have his way with me.

Since January, I started praying for God to give me strength to leave him because he didn't want to use condoms. I knew it would have led to pregnancy or probably diseases. When I asked him to use the condom, he said it was because I was having an affair. I stayed away from him for a while. A couple months ago, I finally ended the relationship. It wasn't easy but I did it.

I have found out that I am pregnant. I haven't told my parents because they will put me out. I don't want to live with my ex-boyfriend. I don't know what to do as my family members will follow my mother and turn their backs on me also.

Please, advise me. it is giving me sleepless nights. My stomach is already bulging. My ex-boyfriend and I haven't spoken since the break-up. I await your response.

Pregnant

Dear Pregnant,

You need to tell this man he got you pregnant, but you should be prepared to hear him say he is not responsible for your pregnancy because you took too long to tell him. You know you have not been with any other man and have tried your very best to end the relationship, because knew it would have eventually happened. I am really sorry to hear you are pregnant.

I also suggest you tell your parents you are pregnant. You cannot be sure what they will say or do. You believe they will put you out but, perhaps, they wouldn't. The pregnancy is showing so it will not be long before your parents realise that you are carrying a child.

I really hope this young man will accept that he has got you pregnant and help you. If he does not, and your relatives ignore and condemn you, and you believe you will not be able to maintain this child, you should carry the pregnancy. However, even before the child is born, you should contact the Adoption Board and tell them you are willing to give up the child for adoption.

Make sure you attend clinic and prepare for the baby. Too often, young women ignore going to clinics and make the necessary preparation for birth. Don't allow that to happen to you. Please, let me hear from you, very soon, before the baby is born.

Pastor