Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you about a problem. I have a son who is 19, and I have a sister who has a daughter who is 18. Both of them are good children, but I am worried because both of them love each other, and when I say love, I mean they will go to bed with each other, and they have done so. And the more I talk to my son, and my sister talks to her daughter, is the more these young people stick together.

My son told me some weeks ago that he was not interested in any other girl but his cousin. My niece doesn't talk very much. My sister told me that she said the only way the relationship would break up between my son and her was if she left the island because she would prefer to die than to know another girl got him. I told my son that he should not bring a curse on the family by having sex with his cousin, and it would be a big disgrace if she should get pregnant for him.

My sister is encouraging her daughter to go and live with her father in America. She has a visa, but the father is living with a woman, so we do not know if she would want her to go there.

Please for your advice, sir.

P.W.

Dear P.W.,

I understand the concerns that your sister and you would have concerning the relationship your children are having with each other. These young people are determined to continue an intimate relationship and they have told you so. Your son is not prepared to look for another girl and your niece is not interested in any other man. So what should you do?

Personally, I do not encourage close relatives to become sexually involved because of bad genes. The Bible condemns near kin to become sexually involved. "None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: I am the Lord", Leviticus 18:6. I believe that relatives, especially close relatives, should stay far from each other when it comes to intimacy.

May I suggest that you have a family conference with your sister and her daughter and her father (if he is available); and you and your son and his father (if he is around) and discuss this matter.

Please do not condemn or curse your son or your niece in the meeting but try to give them reasons why they should stop cohabiting and end the sexual relationship that they are having.

Pastor