It occurred to me recently that I have been friends for over 10 years with a male friend, who I know is married, but I have never seen him with or met his wife. I know he is married because he has spoken about having a wife at home often and I hear him dialogue with her on the phone multiple times.

But I don't know who she is or what she looks like. I asked him why I've never seen him with her, if it is that he doesn't take her out anywhere with him. He replied, "Of course. Just last week we went to a funeral!." This shocked me and I asked him if he only goes to funerals with this wife. Annoyed at my question, he replied, "Don't be silly, we also go to weddings and other church functions."

I then started observing and I realised that there is a trend among married men to not be seen with their wives. This discovery leads me to my question: Why do married men hide their wives? I like to find out from the source so I conducted a little informal survey to find out the answer to my query, and here are the more popular reasons given:

She's not interested in the things he likes, so that 's why they don't share them - A few men indicated that their spouses are not into sports, for example, and they want to watch the game with people who share their interest at a sports bar. His wife is not into that so she stays home.

It's for work so spouses are not allowed. There are events that's for professional advancement and having your spouse there might be distracting so that is why she is not a part of it.

"I don't want her around my friends. Some of the things we discuss may not sit well with her and I want to be free to express myself without worrying about offending my wife," a very passionate man explained.

"Being in the company of smart attractive women everyday makes it hard to be faithful to only one, so men go out with their friends or alone to engage with some of these women. Yes, it's cheating, but it doesn't count if you don't get caught." grinned another man.

As far as I can see, the latter reason is the most honest. There are a lot of married men not wearing wedding rings and acting like they are available so women beware. Always ask the relevant questions from the jump. Force them to lie to you if necessary, but try to get the details so you can make an informed decision.

And for the men who have your wives hidden neatly away, I suggest you examine how you would feel if she was doing the things you are doing behind your back. If you decide to share your life with someone and get married, then respect the commitment you chose to make, otherwise, make adjustments.

Have fun and stay sexy.

Question

Dear Dr Sexy

It's that time of the year again and I am broke. My girl is expecting all kinds of excitement for the holidays, but I cannot afford it. What should I do? I don't want her to leave me.

Marlon, Highgate

Dear Marlon,

You should be able to level with your girlfriend and let her understand your financial state. You can still do stuff but she will have to adjust her expectations. Also, if she leaves you because you cannot afford her expectations, then she's not your girl.

Good luck and stay sexy

Dr Sexy