Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old. I am having a problem that I am trying to handle on my own, but I am not succeeding.

So I am reaching out to you for help. It might be too late, because I am pregnant. I was going to evening classes and I met a man who told me that he has always admired me. I knew him when I was attending high school. He and I became friends. He came into my life when I needed help. He would pick me up after classes and take me home, or take me to where he lived.

When I told him I was a virgin, he did not believe me. It was after we had sex for the first time that he said he believed. I had male friends before, but we never had sex. This man never told me he was married nor did he tell me where he was taking me was not his home. That's just the house he takes his girlfriends. His sister lives there and he has a room that he uses as a motel.

Now that I am pregnant, his sister is telling me the truth. She said the whole issue is none of her business and I should have known what I was doing. I have lost trust in this man. Whenever we are together, he turns off his cell phone. He also told his sister to convince me to do an abortion. She told me what he said, but she also discouraged me from doing it.

I am begging for you to talk to this man for me. I still do not know where he lives and his sister will not tell me. I don't know what to do. He is angry at me because I haven't decided to do the abortion.

A.L.

Dear A.L.,

I cannot encourage you to have an abortion. This man should stand up to his responsibility. He lied his way into your life. He did not have to get you pregnant. Go tell your parents that you are pregnant. Don't hide it from them. It is better for them to hear from you than from other people. Your mother will be disappointed in you, but she is a woman and I don't believe that she'd want to hurt you.

My suggestion is to have the baby and give it up for adoption. The man has already said that you shouldn't keep the pregnancy, so it is unlikely that he would support the child. You may not want to give up the child for adoption, so after the child is born, if the man refuses to support him or her, you should consider taking him to the family court for child support.

Pastor