Elgin Taylor, Star Writer

It is often mooted that the nuclear family structure, consisting of a father and mother and children, is said to be the ideal one for any society. As a reputed Christian country, this is the model that is hoped for in our nation.

However, although we have a significant number of married couples, there are those who seem to prefer to live in concubinage, especially where the males are concerned.

As observed in an increasing number of cases, the men generally do not even stick around until the babies are born before they make their departure, leaving the poor women to fend for themselves and the children.

In a large number of these cases, the women are unemployed and this caused added stress and pressure for her and the children. It must be pointed out that some of these men may stick around for awhile before breaking off the relationship for younger, and some would say, 'sexier' women.

(And of course there are a myriad of other reasons why such relationships break up and it is not always the man's fault.)

Unbelievable

When you talk to these women, it seems unbelievable to learn how they try to cope through the uncertainty, the stress and the hopelessness. They have to try and get a little day's work here and a little there; beg and even borrow from neighbours and friends to send their children to school. Some of these children have to attend school in spells, for example, one would go on Monday and Tuesday, and another Wednesday and Thursday. Friday school is not viewed with the same importance, so the mother and the children themselves don't bother to take on the added stress on this day.

(Thank God for the intervention of the PATH Programme which gives some assistance to enable these students to attend school.)

Truth be told, some of these women, mothers, caregivers, are so stressed that a few of them have even contemplated the sale of their bodies. Some of them have revealed that they thought of plying their trade on 'Back Road,' the hip strip in Portmore known to be a haven for prostitutes.

Still, there are those who thought of giving up altogether, of taking their own lives and even that of their children because of this unbearable suffering. Here again God's mercy and the kindness of friends and elders of the church usually make a timely intervention and prevented what would be an awesome tragedy.

Error

Many persons make the error of labelling women with, for instance, seven children with six babyfathers as whores and being very bad. However, in a number of instances, this is not the case.

If we examine the matter closely we would find that the women entered these relationships out of a need for companionship, loneliness and the belief that the man sounded 'nice,' and will stick around. However, on every occasion they had been deceived, and so ended up heartbroken, frustrated and saddled with the children. This is very often the reality, the true picture.

Of course, education can help to alleviate some of this suffering, for example, they could learn a skill, get a job, and so be able to take better care of their children. Getting a job may even have the added bonus of the man sticking around as some of them get overwhelmed by the financial pressure.

The school, the Church and the community in general should be the socialising entities to oversee the education and nurturing of these women.

In the meantime, let us salute and applaud them for the hardship that they have been enduring, and their strength and fortitude in seeing to the welfare of their children.

Questions, comments, observation? You can email me at elgin1225@yahoo.co.uk.

Still, there are those who thought of giving up altogether, of taking their own lives and even that of their children, because of this unbearable suffering. Here again God's mercy and the kindness of friends and elders of the church usually make a timely intervention and prevented what would be an awesome tragedy.