Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you in the name of Jesus. I am 23 and in love with a 26-year-old married man. His wife lives overseas so, basically, I am his girl until she comes but even when she comes, he still treats me like the love of his life. We were together when he got married. He told me about it after he got married. I was hurt but the way he treated me but I can't seem to be mad at him.

We have been together for more than four years and he has always been my motivator. He pushes me to achieve my goals and to work hard. He has always been there for me. He always tells me all he wants to see me do is excel.

My problem is I don't know whether to continue in a relationship with him or move on. I know he loves me but he is married. Is there any future there? I also know he loves his wife too. We have broken up a few times but he still speaks to me during those break-ups and motivates me the same.

Another problem is that we never seem to be apart for long. I can't swear for any man but I know his wife and I are the only women in his life. He always involves me in whatever decisions he makes in his life. He shares everything with me. He tells me everything. from what I know, he hasn't lied to me yet.

I am going to finish school next year and he is behind me 100 per cent trying to motivate me. I love him but I don't know if I should just let him be or keep talking to him.

Please advise me as to what I should do.

Confused Girl

Dear Confused Girl,

You are 23. You should know whether this relationship makes sense. This man , you say, motivates you. That is good but both of you were single when you started going together and he secretly went out and got married to someone else. In other words, he chose another woman over you and you continued the relationship that both of you have had. It is for you to decide whether you are going to continue or not at this stage of your life.

This man is not going to leave his wife, so make up your mind what you want to do. And have good reasons for moving on or for remaining with him. The choice is yours.

Pastor