Dear Pastor,

I am 55 and my husband is 60. We have been married for more than 25 years and we have two children. My husband has one outside child. He is a contractor and he makes a reasonable amount of money. There was a time when I didn't have any trouble with him. I knew that he always liked women and I used to tease him about them, but he always denied that he was sleeping with them. The house always had food and the bills were paid. He was a man who loved his children and saw that they attended school.

My husband is still working but he is carrying on now as if he has hit his head or somebody has worked obeah on him. Now, he is making rude remarks when I talk to him. He even said that I am old and he can get any amount of young girls. The children talked to him about this. My oldest child and my husband faced each other and I had to jump in the middle so that they didn't hit fists because of what he told me. And my son told him that he won't stay in the house and have him disrespect me.

I told my son to leave until his father cooled down because his father said he would kill him. He came back and begged his father pardon and they are on speaking terms again.

My husband is not slowing down. His erection is as hard as a rock and now he is not hiding and not afraid to say that he is having affairs with women. I told him I would leave him and he told me I am not going anywhere.

I went to America to spend two weeks and after the first week he demanded that I come home, so I could see that this man still loves me. When I was away he was fretting. Now I am back but he hasn't changed, so please advise me what to do.

E.W.

Dear E.W.,

I believe that your husband loves you. He has his dirty ways but he loves you. And there isn't any question in my mind about your love for him. You do not only love him but you are loyal to him. He loves his women, that is his weakness and it will take a spiritual deliverance to stop him.

You did not say whether your husband drinks. Some of what you have said sounds like bar talk. He probably says these unkind things to you when he is under his liquor, so to speak.

Ask your children not to become involved in any argument your husband and yourself may have. He might overreact as he did with your eldest child. Try to talk to your husband when the children are not around or when they cannot hear what both of you are saying.

You know your husband is playing around so try to get him to use the condom when both of you are having sex. You have to make sure that you protect yourself from STDs.

Pastor