Dear Pastor,

I am writing with tears in my eyes. I have been married for two years now but I am not happy. I made a mistake in marrying this man. I am 40 years old and he is 60. He was married before but this is my first marriage. This man told me that he did not have children but since we got married he told me that he found out he has a son. His son is married and is planning to come to Jamaica and he would like them to stay with us.

I told him that during the time that his son and his wife are here I would go back to my parent's home. My room is still there. I am so hurt that my husband lied to me about not having children, and now he is telling me that he would love for the house to go to his son and his grandchildren. He is not saying what will go to me. I am not in the picture at all.

When I told him that I will go home until his son and his family leave, he cursed me and told me I should take everything and don't come back. The way he is going on is affecting me and I am not sleeping well. I have kept to myself and I've never run around - to hear this man use filthy words to me is affecting me. I don't even want my mother to know that this old man is threatening me.

L.O.

Dear L.O.,

I don't know why some men don't speak the truth about their children. Your husband is 60 years old. Why did he have to lie to you? He shouldn't have been afraid to say whether or not he had children. I have heard from so many women that the men in their lives are dishonest to them. I know women do so all the time. A woman would tell a man that she has two children when she has four, five or six, and that isn't right. Why should a man be afraid to speak the truth?

Now, having said the above, let me ask you, now that you know that this man has a son and he is planning to come to Jamaica, what really is the reason why you would not want to be at the house while they are there? Is it the noise that the children may make? How would your husband's son and his wife really affect you? They are not to be blamed for the lies that your husband told.

Your husband was wrong in what he did. But is it because you feel that you are going to lose his house why you are angry and don't want to be around when his son is there? Your husband told you that the house belongs to his son. What you should do is to see a lawyer and ask for advice.

I further suggest that before his son gets to Jamaica, you prepare the house for him. Let him feel very comfortable. And please do not leave the home. Treat this young man well. What I am trying to say is, change your attitude towards this young man and towards your husband, even though he is guilty of deception.

Pastor