Dear pastor,

Greetings and may God continue to bless and keep you and your family. I wrote to you in April of last year. My letter was titled, 'Can't hold on much longer'.

Since my letter to you, I went to the doctor, as I had told you, and my stress level was too high. As a result, my thyroid was out of control and it started to affect my heart so my doctor and counsellor advised me on what to do. My husband and I took a break from each other so I visited my father in the Cayman Islands the same month for six weeks.

On my return to Jamaica I got worse. My husband told me he thought I should take up my dad's offer and sort out my citizenship. I didn't want to leave my husband but he told me if I didn't go I would be a 'cruff' and he doesn't want a wife with no ambition.

On July 24 I returned to my father. Since then I have not been back to Jamaica. My husband moved in his daughter and her mother, and his mother advised me that they are not together but she is the mother of his child. She has nowhere else to go and they can't leave her on the streets so it would be better if I remained in Cayman and send for my husband.

Pastor, I love him but love myself more and I refuse to have to deal with this babymother drama. I told him I need a divorce. Our pastor/counsellor thinks I should take him here and try to work it out but I honestly don't think it would make a difference. On his return to Jamaica they would be living together and I can't live with knowing that my husband is living with the woman he cheated on me with and impregnated. He expects me to believe that nothing is going on between them and that he is just helping her out.

I heard that they are not together because her man picks her up every night. However, he forgot to mention that he is having an intimate relationship with her friend now and she posts picture of him on Facebook. I know the Bible does not agree with divorce but I don't see how I can be happy or even trust my husband anytime soon, or forever for that matter.

I await your reply. May God continue to bless and keep you. Thank you for the advice you gave me the first time I wrote to you.

P.S

Dear P.S.,

Perhaps it is time for you to seriously consider bringing an end to this relationship. If you continue in this relationship your physical condition is likely to get worse. Your husband does not want you. His conduct shows that he does not care what happens to you. The respect he once had for you is gone. The most important person in your life right now is you. It is time for you to take care of yourself. You are number one. Right now you are punishing yourself by running after this man.

He may or may not be still having an intimate relationship with his child's mother but you have been informed that another woman is in his life, so why fool yourself. Move on and be comforted by the thought that from time immemorial, some marriages last while others do not. And if it's God's will that another man comes into your life when you are free, don't be afraid to love him. Who knows, he might be the man God intended for you to have.

Pastor