Dear Pastor,

I am 29 years old and the father of three children with two different baby mothers. I am married but I do not love the woman I married. This woman 'tied' me to her. My mother was against me marrying her. My mother told me that she saw the woman in her dreams putting something in my porridge so I should not eat from her. I did not listen to my mother. I continued to eat from this woman. She was a very good cook. When I told my mother that I don't believe that anybody could tie another person she told me all different stories and warned me.

She went on to tell me that she had another dream that the woman put something bad in a meal of salt fish and cabbage and gave it to me. This woman was so loving before we got married so I did not believe that she would do be anything bad. My mother did not attend the wedding. My father did not attend either but my sisters and brothers came. My father gave me a goat for the reception but he stayed home with my mother. I was very hurt. I sent cake to my mother. One of my sisters told me that my mother threw away the cake.

Things have changed between my wife and myself. She wants to control me. I have to be doing everything she says. People tell me that I look different so I should go and look after myself. I used to have a flat stomach, now it is puffy.

Do you believe this woman has tied me to her? How can I get out of this problem?

J.N

Dear J.N.,

For years I have been hearing people say that women tie men to them and men tie women to them so that they cannot leave them. They would have to stay with them until death. I have received some very disturbing letters from women telling me what they have done to men. No woman could convince me that she loves a man and yet she has done some of these very dirty things by putting foreign matters, in his food and doing some other weird things that I don't feel comfortable publishing.

Your mother believes in dreams. She believed she saw certain things that your girlfriend was doing to you in her dream and she warned you not to continue with this relationship. But you believe that she was talking nonsense. Some people would agree with mama because they would say that mama has a special gift. Others would say that mama hated your girlfriend.

It is not for me to judge the woman you eventually married. You are a grown man and you made your decision so I would not say that you should have listened to mama because I do not know whether mama was right. And I don't know whether some of the things that I have been told that women do can really tie men. But I do know that some women do put foreign matter into men's food. And I also know that both women and men have gone to obeah men and have paid them to tie both women and men.

I can only suggest that you go and see a medical practitioner. Tell him or her how you are feeling and ask for a thorough check up. I wish you well, sir.

Pastor