Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your columns since I was in high school and I listen to your show. I have learnt a lot from the many topics and views discussed on your show. Pastor, sometimes when a man is talking about important things of a relationship, they are dubbed as chatter boxes or talkative. If the person stops expressing themselves he is then labelled as being boring or sulky. How do you view that?

A person who speaks his/her mind is seen as the worst, but a gossip is hailed. Keep up the good work.

R

Dear R,

I am glad that you have learnt much from both my column and radio show. Some people talk too much. Some people do not know when to speak and when to be quiet. Some fail to understand that they are certain family matters that should not be taken outside the home. Some folks are definitely not confidential.

That is why one has to be careful what one talks to certain people. Old time people say, "It is not everything good to eat good to talk." And the Bible says, "He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction." The following verses from the Bible are very instructive. "A fool's mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul."

"The heart of him that hath understanding seeketh knowledge: but the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness." "The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked speaketh frowardness." "A hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered."

A man must weigh his words and not be too eager to speak. In fact, he should be willing to learn from others while he remains quiet. When people learn to control their lips, their friends and relatives are always willing and ready to hear from them because they know that they can always learn from their comments.

Pastor