Dear Pastor,

I have a boyfriend who lives close to me. We have been together for three years. During the three years, it has been nothing but mixed feelings and we keep going back and forth in the relationship. He used to be a 'gallis'. I had a problem with that, so I would always ask him if I am the only girl that he was with. He would always tell me, "Yes baby, you are the only girl I am with and I love you so much." Whenever he tells me that I am the only girl he is with, I still believe he has other girls.

My main problem with him is that he only does well for a while. I would talk to him about something that he is doing wrong and he would not do it for a week or two, then he would be back to square one. I know he loves me, but I cannot be in a relationship if I am not moving forward or making progress.

Pastor, this guy does not take care of me and he works good money. At the moment, I am a student at a prominent university, and, Pastor, he does not help me to go to school. I believe that I am a good girlfriend. I treat him well and take care of him. I am always there for him, yet he is not here for me. What should I do, Pastor?

Student

Dear Student,

You call this man a gallis and you are always suspicious of him. A gallis (as you put it), will not change just to suit you. You keep asking this young man whether he has other women - very few men will admit to their girlfriend that they have other girls. Those who admit they are in relationships with other girls don't care whether the girl who asks stays or goes. They probably can't manage the number of women they have anyway, so if a girl goes, they won't miss them much because the love that they had for them wasn't strong.

You are wasting time with this young man. You will be doing yourself a big favour if you end the relationship with him. He is a time waster. You are looking for too much from him. Concentrate on your university studies. He does not take you seriously. It is time for you to drop him.

Pastor