So on the weekend, I followed a girlfriend of mine to a popular hardware store. While she was shopping, I was observing some of the other customers in the store when I had an 'ah ha' moment.

I noticed about 12 different couples that are obviously married and they all have the same thing in common. The husbands look like they are being held hostage just following their wives around while she looks around for the item being purchased.

Just at a glance they look very bored and detached as a couple. This brought me to ask a few questions: Who were they before they got married? What were they like when they just met? When did they get to the point of becoming Mr and Mrs Boring?

Personally, I think that as a couple it is important to keep the effort in your relationship. And the minute you lose that, you will grow apart and become complacent. So here are some things you can do to avoid becoming Mr and Mrs Boring:

Kiss - This is the best expression of intimacy, so do it often. Some persons are uncomfortable with expressions of affection especially in public. So if you are uncomfortable, do it anyway. You will eventually get to the point where you show your feelings on a more regular basis. So every time you leave each other, make sure you share a nice, intimate kiss.

Have F-lunch -- Plan to meet for lunch at least once a week. And to really make it adventurous, meet up at a hotel and ravish each other for lunch. Remember, you have to go back to work, so make it snappy. If you want, you can continue your tryst after work.

Play Sexy Games - Use a regular board game and add a sexy element to it. For example, spell naughty words when playing scrabble and the winner gets to command the loser to do his/her bidding.

Set and Keep a Date Night - Make a plan to go on a date at least once per month. Treat your date like an unbreakable appointment and plan around it. On your date night, get really dressed up and do something that you both enjoy, and enjoy each other.

Go for a Drive - We live in paradise so go for a drive, just the two of you. You don't need a destination, just turn on the radio and let the road take you somewhere. Enjoy the scenic views and you can stop anywhere along the way.

I know that life happens and it is sometimes hard to maintain the intimacy in your relationship, but it does take work. At the end of the day, the most important thing you can do for your relationship is to keep making the effort at all times. Too many relationships get into a rut because the couple stopped trying. Couples like to reminisce about the honeymoon phase, but they don't recognise that the big difference is that at the start of a relationship, both partners made the effort to impress each other. So work on adding the spice and keeping it - look at it this way, if you are always trying to be together, you will not have time to be bored. Have fun and stay sexy.

Send your questions or comments to sexychatwithshelly@gmail.com or Tweet me @drsexylive or Facebook www.facebook.com/allaboutthesexy

Question

Dear Dr Sexy,

Hi Shelly, I need some advice on having a threesome. My boyfriend is the one wanting it but I am not. But am thinking of giving him his fantasy as he asks for it like six times now. HELP

Lorna, Linstead

Dear Lorna,

The only reason you should do a threesome is because you want to. If you are not interested, regardless of how your partner feels, don't do it. Adding another person to your sexual experience is a major step and you must give your consent to do it. Let your partner know how you feel and be clear that this is something you don't want to do. Good luck.

Dr Sexy

Blakka's

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