Dear Pastor,

I am 23 and living with my boyfriend. He built his own room on his parents' house. He is putting in a bathroom but it is not finished, so we have to use his mother's bathroom. Pastor, this man loves his mother more than 'cook food'. I am living there but can't stand her. She has no manners at all. She does not show any respect for me.

When I came to live there, I thought she loved me. After two weeks, she asked me when I was leaving. I asked if her son had not told her I had moved in with him. She said yes, but doesn't know how that would work. My boyfriend told me that's how she is. He is 33 and every girl he brings to the house she shows bad face.

One morning, I was in the bathroom having a shower, she pushed the door and came in. That was not the first time she had come into the bathroom, though she knew I was in there. This time I spoke up and told her that she was a big woman and, though I could have been her daughter, I needed my privacy.

She said the house is hers and she can do anything in her house. I finished having my bath, went in the room and started to pack my clothes.

My boyfriend spoke to her and they had a big quarrel. My boyfriend told me to unpack because I was not going anywhere. He said his mother was upset because, before his father died, he told her the house is his and if his mother wanted a man, he would have to take her out of the house.

My boyfriend spent a lot of money on the house. She doesn't want him to get married. She wants him to spend money on her until she dies. He told her, in my presence, that he would support her, but if he has to leave that house she is not going to get any money from him.

When I am in the bathroom, I have to make sure I lock the door from inside. Imagine, this woman has no reason at all to break in on me while I am having my bath. I wonder how long I can take her behaviour.

G.T

Dear G.T.,

Too bad your boyfriend is not in a position to put you elsewhere to live. You said he built a room on the house for himself and is working on a bathroom. If there is going to be peace in the house, he does not only have to build a bathroom, he should also build a kitchen. I say that because you would need your own kitchen and bathroom to avoid getting into conflict with your mother-in-law.

Pushing the door and coming in on you while you are having your shower is a way to show she doesn't respect your privacy and would prefer not to see any woman in her house.

I hope since her son has spoken to her in your presence her attitude will change. Be respectful but keep out of her way.

Pastor