Dear Pastor,

I am writing you this letter for your advice. I am a 23-year-old woman. I grew up in church. My parents are active officers. I received prizes in Sunday school for attendance, offering and memory work. Church is a part of my life.

Three years ago I met a young man and we became friends. We hit it off well. He got to love me and I got to love him. I introduced him to my parents and they liked him. After six months he took me to meet his parents. His mother questioned me a lot. His father didn't but told me he was glad to know me and how much his son talked about me.

We discussed marriage all the time. I noticed he began to change and, instead of talking to me in the normal way, he started to use the language of Rastas. He stopped eating pork and told me he was going vegetarian. Everything he does he wants me to follow. Whenever I disagree, he said I am rebelling. Suddenly my skirts were too short and he did not want me to process my hair. He told me when we get married I will have to stop cooking pork. I told him I wouldn't cook pork and give to him but I want to eat pork.

Our wedding is planned for December 2014 but I have already told him we should put off the wedding until we get advice from my pastor. He said no pastor can tell him what to do.

I am confused. Please give me your advice.

I.J

Dear I.J.,

I see trouble all over. This man seems to be becoming a Rastafarian and, evidently, he wants you to become one too. He is rather demanding. If you do not intend to stop wearing your skirts at the length he wishes you to wear them, and if you would like to continue to eat pork, you should tell this man the relationship is over. I am sure there are many Rastafarians men who are married to women who are not followers of their religion. These men do not pressure their women to follow the Rastafarian tradition.

You are an individual and have your own convictions. This man should recognise that and not pressure you to do what you do not wish to do.

Pastor