According to veteran Caribbean humorist Paul Keens-Douglas, some of the more respectable jobs are the ones that are words that end with the syllables 'er' and 'or' - you know, like preacher, educator, doctor, lawyer, and banker and so forth. And that's why instead of being called comedian, he prefers being called joker or storyteller.

Nuff Jamaicans may agree wid him. I even hear about one thieving pickpocket boy who say people nuffi diss him and call him thief because he is a hardworking professional 'stealer'. And I understand that the ladies on back road in Portmore are now to be called adult entertainment providers. Ahm, and I wonder if that is why deejay Blacka Ranks did change him name to 'Black-er'?

The main months

Well look here nuh peeps, unnu si di same how 'er and 'or' can command respect when it come to occupation? I wonder if unnu know is the same thing with 'ber' when it comes to months? Yes friends and peoples, 'ber' months run things; is just so di ting set! So unnu better stand up and salute or bow dung and show honour, because here comes September, October, November and December. And is di real, real big month dem yah!

Of course, the best month of the year for me will always be April. That's because, well, April is when everything starts for me, yu done know! But I have respect and manners for these four four-week blocks from September to December. Yeah man, mi nah lie, I'm very in love with and also slightly scared of the 'ber' months.

You see, on the one hand, some very important people, some of my best friends, including my first girlfriend and the first girl I ever kissed, are 'ber' folks. The girls I love the most in this whole, wide world [my mother, wife and granddaughter] are all born in the 'ber' months. So it means birthday time for a lot of beautiful people. Nuff niceness! On the other hand though, these months seem like a big demanding figure blocking your path, and standing hands akimbo while screaming at you 'whe di money deh?'

Fi real man, the 'ber' months also mean the beginning of the year-end excitement, commercial confusion. These are the months when if yuh nuh have money yu nuh feel like a man. And dem deh yah. Unnu nuh agree wid mi? Stay deh! Once you see August over and we bid goodbye to the summer fun, the 'ber' months step in big and serious and start mek wi know say see it deh, di year done!

Start acting now

So folks, if you know what's good, you better take my foolish advice and start now. Start thinking about what you can spend on less so you can enjoy more. Start thinking about the Christmas planning and the New Year savings. If you think it's too early, you're late already. September is already here.

If yu never know this before, me a tell yu, learn it now, and if you did know it long time, mi a tell yu fi remember. Once we get surprised by September, wi a go buck up and trip over October and stumble and stagger over November fi land pon wi face inna December. And just like that, another year will be over.

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