With our world moving faster and everything happening at break-neck speed, something like foreplay is in danger of becoming unnecessary.

Cars are faster, dating can happen without having to meet the person, you can get married through a drive up window and you can even take pills to get you aroused. Foreplay seems like a lost art. Working on learning your partner, figuring out what he/she likes, his/her erogenous zones - all these activities take time and effort. So with all of these observations how important is foreplay?

Before we get to that, let me define the word. Foreplay is described as a set of physical and emotional intimate acts between partners designed to cause arousal and desire for sex. When most of us think of foreplay we envision kissing, caressing, moaning, grabbing and even some dirty talk. Yes, all of these are included, but foreplay is so much more. What most persons don't know is that foreplay actually starts before you even touch your partner. From a thought to a phone call to a shy glance across the room, your body starts to respond to your partner in very exciting ways before you actually touch or even see each other.

One major misconception is that women are the ones who need foreplay and that men don't even enjoy it. It's too much work to get her aroused. I have heard most of these complaints from men. But let me highlight the importance of this act:

Increases intimacy - the connection with partners is built during sex and foreplay is a huge part of this activity. Foreplay helps you to express your feelings with each other without saying a word.

Sex is much more than just penetration - Most persons think that sex is all about penetration and that's it. Stimulating the body is vital to the overall experience. As a matter of fact, there are some persons who orgasm from stimulating outside the genitals.

Great way to excite your partner - If you are in the mood and your partner is not and then applying some foreplay is the best way to get him/her going. Motivate your lover to do the nasty with you with some sensual stimulation.

Orgasm, especially for her - Most women do not orgasm through penetration. Clitoral stimulation is important to her climax. So just focusing on penetration alone is not enough for her ultimate pleasure.

It feels good - There is not much I can say about foreplay without mentioning how good it feels. Just being able to excite all the senses through sexual contact is an amazing experience, so just enjoy it.

Yes, I concede that life is moving faster and people have no time for anything - but some things are still very relevant and should be indulged in. Foreplay is one of them. So get your foreplay on, add some toys, play some games, just really focus on getting your foreplay on. Have fun and stay sexy.

Question

Dear Dr. Sexy,

I want to have an orgasm when I have sex with my boyfriend, but it's hard. He gets frustrated because he doesn't think he can please me, but I don't know what to do. Please help, I don't want to lose him.

Marsha, Duhaney Park

Dear Marsha,

Don't feel bad, most women don't orgasm from penetration. Try masturbating in front of your partner; it is a great way to show him what you like. And all he has to do is to mimic your movements. Good luck and stay sexy,

Dr Sexy

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