Dear Pastor,

From I was a child, I have been reading your column. You are still my favourite in the Star. Whenever I buy it, your column is the first place I turn to. I have had many girlfriends. I have three children and one is with a woman who is still married but not living with her husband. She and I got involved while she was having problems with her husband. He used to pick her up from work and then, to punish her, he stopped and told her to take the bus home. I wasn't working far from where she was working, so I used to take her from work and dropped her one bus stop away from where she was living.

Although she is much older than I am, we became intimate friends and we started to have sex. She got pregnant and I told her that she should get rid of the pregnancy and she said yes, but a few weeks after, she said no, that is murder. She decided to carry the baby, but to register the child in her husband's name. When her husband realised that she was pregnant, he left her and she had to pay the whole rent and utility bills, etc.

This lady and I ended the relationship because her husband started to come around her again and they are trying to make up. She lied and told him that the man who got her pregnant was gone abroad and she doesn't know where he is. She even gave him a fictitious name.

I have a new girlfriend. She is very attractive. She is short and I am 6 foot. I wanted to settle down with her, but there is a problem. The first time I decided to have sex with her I found out that she does not wear panties. I was very surprised. I told her that it is only some schoolgirls I know who don't wear panties. She said that from the time she was a child, she and her sisters didn't wear panties unless it was necessary for them to do so.

This girl came to spend time with me at my mother's house. She was there for two weeks and my mother asked her if she was not washing her panties and she told my mother she doesn't always wear them. And my mother told me that my girlfriend is a nasty girl so I should leave her.

I didn't know what to do. I went out and bought some for her and she was very upset. She told me that I didn't have to do that. This is the only problem I have with her. Even when it is cold, she does not wear panties.

H.O

Dear H.O,

Your mother will always remember that this girl told her that she does not wear panties and nothing that she can tell her will cause her not to believe that she is nasty. The truth is, I do not know whether or not one should consider a girl who does not wear panties nasty. If a woman keeps herself clean, should she be considered nasty? If a woman feels comfortable without wearing panties, is she nasty in the true sense of the word?

How would she deal with a situation where her period comes suddenly? I am asking these questions as a man.

I know that on the Dear Pastor show women have called in and have said that they don't sleep in panties. But not to wear such an important piece of garment might be questionable from a man's perspective. I really don't know. Therefore, I am not surprised that you are concerned, very perplexed to the extent that you are wondering whether or not you should continue in this relationship.

Your mother describes her as nasty. What are you going to tell mama? Are you going to tell mama that you are marrying the nasty girl or are you going to tell your mother that she needs not worry because, on her wedding day, she will wear panties? I wish you well. It is your woman and your decision.

Pastor