Dear Pastor,

I am 21 years old and I grew up with my grandparents. My mother gave me over to my grandmother, who is my father's mother, and disappeared. My grandfather could read a little, but my grandmother could not read at all. I never heard them quarrel. My grandmother loved me and she used to dress me up and, although she couldn't read, she sent me to school. In fact, she would walk me to school, and came back for me. I grew long hair and she used to plait my hair and oil it and oil even my face.

My grandmother was very strict. I passed my exams and went to high school and, when I passed, she told everybody in the community how bright I was. Every Sunday, she sent me to Sunday school. I used to read the Bible for both my grandfather and grandmother. Then I disappointed both of them by getting pregnant when I was 16 years old. My grandmother cried. The guy who got me pregnant said it wasn't his child and that made matters even worse.

My pastor helped me and now I am going back to school. My grandmother is old now, but she is helping me with the baby. I can't tell them that I have a new boyfriend now, because I promised them that what happened before will not happen again. I am having sex, but I know how to protect myself. Your column has really helped me. Thank you, pastor.

G.C

Dear G.C.,

I am glad that you have had good grandparents and I am begging you not to disappoint them again. You made a mistake, but you can pick up the pieces and move on. You are wiser now. Don't allow anyone to use you, and please, never be ungrateful to your grandparents. Try your best not to waste time in school. Let me hear from you again.

Pastor