Dear Pastor,

I have a problem and hope you can help me. I met a man a year and half ago. I was walking home after visiting a friend who had just had a baby. It was getting dark so I was walking very fast. A car pulled up alongside me and the driver asked if I wanted a ride. I told him no because I was almost home. He wanted to know where I lived and I told him not far from where I was standing. He was such a polite person, I decided to stand by the side of his car and chat with him.

Eventually, he dropped me home. later in the night he called and asked if I wanted to go for a drink. I told him no. About 10 o'clock that same night, he called again and asked me if I didn't want to change my mind. I said yes, and he should pick me up in 15 minutes. We went out and used the time to get to know each other. He behaved as a gentleman.

He knew many of the people I knew. He said I could check him out. He said he did not have a girlfriend. I wanted to know how a man who was so handsome didn't have a girlfriend. He said he was seeking a girlfriend and I probably could fit his criteria. I told him I had my boyfriend but he was not in Jamaica.

On Valentine's Day he gave me a lovely necklace. I had nothing to give him but promised I would give him something. He never stopped asking me when I would keep my promise. he kept singing the song, 'Ring ting ting, my girlfriend promised to give me something'.

It wasn't long before I found out what he wanted from me was sex. He never stopped until I finally decided to have sex with him. He got me pregnant. When I thought we would get married, he told me he was already married and his wife was abroad studying.

For that reason, I did an abortion. Nobody told me this man was married. When we started to go out, he took me everywhere.

I cannot trust men. I prefer never to be married than to be fooled again.

I.M

Dear I.M.,

It is unfortunate this man lied to you. Actually, I see you as a good young woman. He wooed you. If he wanted company, he could have found a girl who was unattached. He didn't have to trick you.

I am assuming you went to his house. Was there no sign to show you that a woman lived there? When he suggested that you could check him out, didn't you ask anybody about him? I am really sorry he tricked you and had his way with you. You believed him and saw nothing in his life why you would have doubted him.

I am sorry that when he got you pregnant you did not carry the pregnancy but I understand why. I hope what has happened to you will not cause you to hate all men. Some men are tricksters but others tell women the truth. I hope the day will come when you will find a good man, but it may take a long time. I wish you well.

Pastor