Dear Pastor,

I am 65 years old but I don't look my age. I am in love with a single man who is 38 years old. He is not working. Since I met him, he has never worked. He says he cannot get any job and he cannot do any hard work. He looks much older than his age. He does not have children but I have four. My children don't know anything about him because they are not living with me.

I like him because he can cook and I don't like the cooking. He is very handy around the house. Sometimes he even washes and cleans for me. He does not like to tell anybody his age. People in the area don't know that he is my man because he calls me aunty. He takes me everywhere I want to go, except church.

My children are coming home in December. I told him he would have to go and stay with his mother until all the children have gone back. He asked me how long I am going to hide him from people. I love him so much but I don't see how I can marry him. He is too young.

L.M

Dear L.M.,

I see no reason why you are continuing to embarrass yourself. It is either you are going to give the guy the green light or tell him to go. You shouldn't have him calling you aunty. He is your man and not your nephew. You are 27 years older than this man. If you are comfortable with him, it's nobody's business. If you are not ready to talk to your children about this relationship, then tell this young man to lay low. But the question is, "How long are you going to try to hide the truth from them"?

I see some problems with him in the future. You are supporting him and if that does not change, he is going to look to you for everything if both of you should get married. He needs to go out and get a job and not to depend on you. Too many women your age are making the same mistake of supporting young men. So stop blowing your money in that way. I am not condemning this guy. And I am not fighting you over his age but I know you are making a mistake.

Why should a guy his age hang around you and not going to work? You are going to find out very soon that the money that you have saved will be depleted. This guy will take his time and eat you out, so to speak. Get smart, woman.

Pastor