This is the second time I am writing to you. I read your column everyday and I have started listening to your interesting programme on the radio. People like me don't miss your show because you are such a lively man and you give good encouragement to everybody. I am not married, as I told you before, but it is through your show that I met a man. We were in line at a business place and people were talking about your show and this man said that he listens, and I said I also listen and we struck up a good conversation about Jamaicans. Finally, we exchanged numbers and we started to communicate. We even went to a bar for a drink.

I was sceptical about this man. I am too old to play around but this man makes me feel like a teenager again. He lost his wife and since he met me he started going out. Pastor, I don't want anything from him but love. He has his own home and I have met his children and they love me and I love them. He has such a powerful body for his age. He is a gentleman and he does not smoke or drink. He is dignified and he keeps fit by going to the gym.

I used to say that good men are not around but this is a good man. When I met him I told him that I did not want to get married. He said the same but now I am changing my mind and I would like him to change his, but he is not interested. How can I get him to see that he has caused me to change my mind and I want us to get married?

This man is a good cook. He cooks for me sometimes. Whenever he cooks, everything tastes more delicious than when I cook. I don't want to lose him and I feel that talking about marriage might push him away.

L.P.

Dear L..P.,

I am glad you have found a good friend but you have problems on your hand. When both of you met, you told him that you were not interested in getting married and he told you that he was not interested in getting married, either. However, his treatments of you have been so good that you have changed your mind and would love to get married to him. It is wise to leave this man alone and not to try to bring on any pressure on him because, if you do, it is likely that you are going to lose him.

His children are glad to see their father very happy after the death of their mother. But how would they react if they were told that both of you are going to get married? They might not want to encourage their daddy to get married again. They may even start to wonder whether you came into his life to get his assets etc.

Perhaps with the passing of time, and as this man gets older, he may see that it is prudent for him to marry you. Intelligent men do not allow their children to control them, but their adult children can have a very big influence in what they do. So, never give the impression that you are after anything that he has and do not raise this subject of marriage very often.

Pastor