Dear Pastor,

I am 25 and the mother of one son. This child is only one year old and his father is my boss. I used to babysit for him and his wife. His wife and I became very good friends. Her sister would come to the house and take care of the baby when I was unable to do so. One day, his wife called me and told me that she had to fly out of the country for the weekend and her sister would not be available to keep the baby and she was asking me to babysit. She said her husband was not going to accompany her. She also said I could take the baby to my house and I didn't have to stay at her house, so I agreed.

That Friday evening, her husband brought the baby and everything to keep him. On the Saturday, he called me and said I could come to the house and bring the baby and stay there, and he would take me back in the evening. I told him I could not come because that was not the arrangement I made with his wife. He said we can always change the arrangement.

In the afternoon I took the baby and watched television. This man went away and did not come back until after 9 p.m. When I told him I wanted to go home, he said I did not have to go. I said I did not have any clothes and he said I did not have to have clothes. He forced me to stay. He brought me some food. I went in the bathroom. He gave me a long T-shirt to wear and we had some wine and had sex, and as a result I got pregnant.

When he realised I was pregnant he encouraged me to have an abortion and I didn't agree. He employed me to work in his supermarket. I told my boyfriend that I was pregnant for him and he accepted the baby. My boyfriend is black and I am black and the baby is not white but of a light complexion, so people know that the child is not for him. And his friends are telling him that he has a jacket.

I can't tell my boyfriend what happened because we are living together and he is very aggressive. I don't know what to do. The father supports the child, but I registered the child in my boyfriend's name. Right now I am pregnant again, but this time I know that it is for my boyfriend.

J.T.

Dear J.T.,

I am assuming that you allowed your boyfriend to get you pregnant to ease your conscience of guilt. You gave your boyfriend a 'jacket' with waistcoat and all. So now you feel that you are obligated to get pregnant again, but this time by your boyfriend, so that it cannot be said that he is supporting a jacket only. You feel better knowing that he has gotten you pregnant and will have a child of his own.

Now, I don't want to embarrass you. I accept that you were naïve and that the businessman tricked you by getting you to sleep at his house. If he really wanted to protect you he could have done so. You have kept quiet about this man being the father of your baby but one of these days it will be revealed. You have kept quiet to protect this man and to protect the relationship you are having with your boyfriend, but generally these things are kept undercover, so to speak. But the public knows the truth and your boyfriend may ask you about it or just leave it alone.

If your boyfriend asks you about it, what would you say? You would have to make up your own mind how to answer him.

Pastor