Dear Pastor,

I have been listening to Power 106 for the past three years. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since I was 18 years old and now I am 26, getting ready to turn 27 in the next two months. We lived together, but, for the past few months, life has been very hard for me. I looked in his phone and I saw that a girl was texting him. I packed all my stuff and left in anger. I know I was wrong.

This man had promised me that we were going to get married this year and that we were going to have a child together. Now, I cry every day, because he is the only man I have known. He was my first boyfriend. He could have been the one to take my virginity, but I was molested when I was 11 years old. I don't understand how he claims that he loves me. We have been through the good days and the bad days for eight years and how could he just leave me like that and go and marry someone else who lives in Jamaica? He left this girl in Jamaica in the early months of 2005.

Pastor, I need your advice. How could I get through this problem?

S.M

Dear S.M.,

I can tell you that I believe this man is going to blame you and he is going to say that it is you who turned him off, you are miserable and that you search everything, including his phone. When you turned away from him, he turned to the girl that he knew for a long time who has never rejected him. He is going to carry that line and try to give you a guilty conscience.

The truth is, he loved that girl much more than you and, although you were wrong to search his phone and you probably cursed him, that was not enough for him to reject you totally and marry another woman. He had that in his plans for a long time. This girl was always in his life and while he was fooling you by telling you that both of you would get married, he was planning to marry the other woman.

You are going through the pains now of losing him and it might take you a long time, but you will get over him. Please don't misunderstand me, both of you have been together for eight years. It has been eight years of deceit, so you may cry as much as you wish to ease your pain. But I want to assure you that you will be a better woman without this man.

I will be praying for you. Talk to God in prayer, read your Bible, go to church and please associate yourself with good friends who will encourage you especially when you feel depressed.

If you find that you are becoming ill, call a psychologist and make an appointment to see him or her.

Pastor