I enjoy reading your column in the Star. I can only buy the Friday Star, so I look forward to it. You are doing an excellent job. The column has helped me to understand life. I have a girlfriend. Anything I tell her, she doesn't believe. She had a boyfriend and he didn't treat her right. He used to lie to her and keep other girlfriends with her. One evening, she caught him having sex with her sister and she and the sister got into a fight and, instead of him protecting her, he held her. And the sister stood there in the nude cursing her and telling her she doesn't see anything wrong in having sex with her boyfriend, because they were not married.

She suffered a nervous breakdown. She had to go to the doctor. I am trying to tell her that I am not like that. I wouldn't approach her sister for sex. These sisters are still not talking, but they are doing better now and my girlfriend is beginning to call me when she hasn't seen me or heard from me. She has even hugged me and kissed me a few times, and that is something she was reluctant to do.

It is one year and six months now since we are together. I told her we should get married but she said she is not ready.

J.B

Dear J.B.,

Continue to treat this lady well and assure her that you can be trusted and that you would do your best not to disappoint her. Some sisters believe that nothing is wrong in having sex with their in-laws. Some men do the same. In fact, some sisters say openly that they would have made better wives to the men their sisters marry.

I hope that the time will come when your girlfriend will be able to forgive her sister for what she has done and that her sister would come to realise that what she did was nothing to be proud of. Don't push your girlfriend to get married. It may take her a long time to decide, and I hope that, when she is ready, you will be quite willing and very much prepared to do so. Make sure, however, that both of you go for counselling sessions before you tie the knot.

Pastor