Look here, nuh! Last week Wednesday, my flight from Toronto to Kingston landed at the same time that the World Cup semi-final match kicked off between Argentina and The Netherlands. So I landed in the middle of mayhem.

Trust me, the vibes were so loud and frantic when I walked out of the customs hall I thought one of two things must have happened: Either I had magically stepped into the Arena Corinthians in Sao Paulo, or mi mussi buck mi toe and fall dung in a one hellava pan - the 'pan' in front of pandemonium!

So I was stuck at the airport for a while because all my regular rides were too busy with the happenings in Brazil. Yeah, man! Everybody and everything was on a football break. Every television [flat screen and 'fat' screen] was on and fully 'tun up'. It felt as if every single car radio, pocket radio, telephone radio, tablet, and computer was simultaneously playing the match at maximum volume. And all around me, everybody and his cousin was wearing the colours and or waving the flag of one of the countries playing in the finals.

All of a sudden, every Jamaican was transformed into an all-knowing football aficionado who was passionate about his or her team even when he or she was not even able to pronounce the name of the team. Like the man who loudly informed me, although I never asked him, that 'di Argentina bredda dem better pack up and gallang home 'cause dem cyaan beat my team', and when I asked him what team was his team, he loudly declared 'Heddaland!'

Well, I'm checking the atlas and I still can't find that particular country. Can you imagine the ensuing fun if I'd asked him to name a few of the players on his team? Di laughing wouldn't be normal. But look yah, man! Talking about 'laughter' and 'normality', I'm really glad to be back in this delightfully confusing and deliciously chaotic case study in contradictions called Jamaica. Nothing here is normal. And if you're not able to respond to the madness with laughter, you might go crazy.

Nuff things a gwaan! An experienced TV broadcaster gave the Nazi salute and declared 'heil Hitler' [which is offensive to Jewish people and illegal in Germany] on national TV and many people responded with 'so, a wha?'

The folks at JPS have teamed up with CRIMESTOP, so you can now earn good-good money by informing on people who you know are stealing electricity. Wow! I'm having fun imagining the moral and ethical dilemma that can cause for people who are caught between the pull of our pervasive anti-informer culture and the push of this oppressive bruck-pocket reality.

The police commissioner has resigned under circumstances that provide more questions than answers. Convicted deejay Vybz Kartel is reportedly suing said commissioner. Nuff of our people cheered on the talented Tessanne and bigged her up as a great Jamaican when she won The Voice. That her surname was Chin didn't seem to matter. Now, some of those same people are upset that the beautiful and intelligent Laurie-Ann won the Miss Jamaica World contest and their major contention seems to be the fact that her surname is Chin!

Wouldn't you love to get a comic spin on some of these issues? Me, too! That's partly why I'm so looking forward to the upcoming seventh season of the Ity and Fancy cat show. Dem even just done MC Shaggy wedding, yu know! Yeah, man! So unnu done know the crazy duo has a lot to share. Yes, peeps! Kinteet time a come again, so prepare!

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