Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you for your comment. I am 35 and divorced. My marriage lasted for five years and, during that time, I had two children.

My boyfriend is 28. He said I have been teaching him a lot. My former husband and I had sex regularly during my menses. It was never a problem with him. He was not my first man.

I first had sex with a 59-year-old man, who used to pay my rent and gave me anything I wanted. I am from a poor family. It was he who told me I needed not be ashamed of having sex during my menses. I resisted, at first, but we tried it and I liked it.

I continued to have sex during my period throughout my marriage, but my present boyfriend doesn't care for it.

We were having sex and my period came and he didn't realise it. When he ejaculated, he realised it was my period. I told him it wouldn't kill him. From that time, we have been having sex whenever I am seeing my period.

Some of my girlfriends say I should not continue that practice because it is wrong. Nobody can tell me what makes it wrong. I like to feel wet and mushy while having sex during my period. Even when my boyfriend is sleeping and I feel, sexy, I wake him up and tell him, 'let's have sex'. If he protests, I tell him I am going to find a man who will give me what I want, at anytime.

Pastor, is there anything wrong in having sex when seeing my period? I don't even want my boyfriend to use a condom during that time. I will be happy to have your comments because I told my friends I am going to write to you about it. If your answer is going to be that I am doing something nasty, don't comment.

M.S

Dear M.S.,

I am not going to say you are nasty. Evidently, you like sex so much you are not even willing for your body to go through the natural process of menstruation without having sex.

It is interesting that you are the aggressor when it comes to sex. Yes, the 59-year-old man told you nothing is wrong in having sex during your menstruation. Why do you believe you had to continue that practice for so long?

Let me admit, some medical practitioners say having sex during a woman's menstruation is healthy. A couple has the right to choose whether they wish to engage in sex during that time, if they feel comfortable doing so. They say it is not unclean. One spouse should not pressure the other to engage in it

Some couples refrain from intimacy during that period. Some men take an extreme position. They do not allow their women to do anything for them during that time of the month, not even to cook their meals. However, some insist that having sex during menstruation may even shorten the period of the woman's menstruation.

Women have been taught to abstain from sex because the menstrual blood is dirty and might affect the man if a condom is not used. That argument is disputed. Some women experience a high desire to have sex because their hormones are flaring, and, the fact that having sex while bleeding is taboo may also add to their enticement for sex".

I do not wish to condemn any couple who engages in sexual intercourse while the woman is having her period. However, I will not advocate it. It is nasty to some, to others it's pleasurable.

Pastor