When many of us hear the word sexy, we immediately think about sex. While these two terms are related, they are not mutually exclusive. I define sexy as being the most vibrant, comfortable version of you.

Sexy is not just about clothes or showing specific parts of the body, it's more about the internal light inside that shines through the way you carry yourself. From the way you walk, talk, dance, smile - your overall expression, that's sexy. So how can we describe various elements of sexy?

Smile - The smile that brightens the face and goes right to the eyes. It's not fake, it's a genuine smile that just shows how happy a person feels. Add a little look of tease and mischief, and that is the ultimate sexy smile. Healthy teeth are a plus, but even with a little gum, you can still crack a sexy smile.

Personality - Having a sexy personality is simple. Be yourself. If you are truly comfortable with who you are and revel in it - that is sexy. When you laugh out loud from a place of joy, it booms and makes other people laugh. A sexy personality also draws people to you and makes you even more attractive.

Confidence/Attitude - This is easily my favourite sexy element. This is where you get to really express your sass, your style, that unique thing that makes you, well, you. Regardless of what the physical attributes are, the sexy attitude will transform any ordinary person to a fabulous, confident, sexy person. Confidence is sexy. Period.

Body - Contrary to the opinions of the fashion magazines and most movies, sexy comes in many sizes and colors. What is a sexy body? In my opinion, a sexy body is a healthy body. So celebrate your body. If you love it and treat it with love, you will not only enjoy it, you will feel sexy in it. If you have curves, learn to love and embrace them. Many persons are hitting the gym to up their sexiness, and that is great, but it is important to love the body that you have now; you can always love it more when you achieve your fitness goals.

Brain - It's simple, intelligence is sexy. Being able to speak with authority on various subjects, as well as motivate, is possibly one of the sexiest expressions. This is a personal one for me because I do not have any patience for stupidity. I have met individuals who are physically very attractive, and then they start to talk and get uglier with every word.

There are many definitions of sexy, so decide how you define it, and work with that. Don't try to fit everybody else's definition, that's pointless. The great thing is, no matter what it is, someone will find it sexy. It is difficult for some persons to separate sexy from sex, but they can exist independent of one another. After all, it is possible to be sexy without including sex, and sex can also happen without being sexy. At the end of the day, it's all up to you. In the end, sexy is in the eye of the beholder.

Have fun and stay sexy.

Send your questions or comments to sexychatwithshelly@gmail.com or Tweet me @drsexyann or Facebook www.facebook.com/allaboutthesexy

Question

Dear Dr Sexy

Is masturbation healthy for you? What about if it's a sin? My pastor says that you should not masturbate, but I can't help it. I do it at least twice per week. I am 18 years old, and I am not having sex with anyone. What can I do to stop?

Ronnie, St Ann

Dear Ronnie,

From a health stand point, masturbation is good for you. At your age, you have a high sex drive, and if you are not sexually active, you will still have the desire. So if masturbation helps, get some lubrication and get busy. As far as it being a sin, that's something that you have to work out yourself. Read the Bible for yourself and see what it says.

Dr Sexy