Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column and listening to your show but I never dreamt that I would ever be writing to you. I will be 55 in a few months from now. I was living with a man for the past seven years. This man called my number but it was not the correct number he was seeking. I told him that it was the incorrect number but he called the following day. It was three times that he had called me. He asked me if I could just spare a couple of minutes to talk to him, so I told him to go ahead.

He began by saying that he is a single man. His wife died and he needed someone to take care of him, and he told me what he can do for me. I told him I was working at a particular place and did not intend to leave there. I was taking care of an old lady at the time and believe me, pastor, this man would call me 24/7. That was February 2006. We would talk everyday. He quoted scriptures and would sing songs for me and so on.

In April of the same year it was my weekend off. He told me to come and meet him and I went to spend the weekend with him. He treated me like a queen. I was pleased, so I fell in love with him and in that same year he decided to take me home for good. I lied to the lady I was working with to be with him. I was to get my leave and he told me that he would give me the money they would have given me for leave and more. The man took a car and came for me. The old lady cried when I was leaving.

After six months or so I started having problems. Women called him everyday, day and night. I cried many days to see what was going on. I became very slim, from 180lbs to 130. I went to the doctor and the doctor sent me to do some tests, including HIV. The doctor said I had picked up a venereal disease. I didn't have sex for over one year until I met this man. I used to see bumps on his private part and when I asked him what it was, he said it was nothing to worry about. Sometimes the bumps went away and sometimes they came back. He was also taking antibiotics. I do not know what to do. I don't want this man anymore. I need your help.

A.H.

Dear A.H.,

This man fooled you. You were taken in by his lies and his money and you left your job and went to live with him; and it was very sad that you abandoned the lady you were paid to nurse. You were too anxious to get involved with this man who fooled you; and when you discovered that he had so many women, you should have packed up and leave. I am sorry to hear that this man is suffering from STDs and he knowingly had unprotected sex with you. That is an irresponsible man.

You have been going to see the doctor. Make sure you follow his or her advice. I hope you will spend the rest of your days serving your God and not fretting over your present condition. You have my prayers. Let me hear from you again.

Pastor