Dear Pastor,

I often read your interesting and encouraging column in the paper. When I was 16-and-a-half years old, I met a man who was 29. We were not friends. I met him when I went shopping. when he saw me, he told me he liked the way I behaved and was going to ask my mother to allow me to become his intimate girlfriend.

I was brought up in a very strict home. When he told me he liked me I didn't answer him because I did not tell him I wanted a man. He went straight to my mother and told her how I have grown up and he loved me, asking her to allow me to become his girlfriend. To my surprise, my mother went straight to my father. So, there it was, they were the ones who loved the man. After six months, he said he was going to marry me. I was young and foolish so we got married. It has been 47 years of hell. I was still with him because I did not know how to live with another man.

From I got married, I was in hell. He was a womaniser. I caught him having sex with a 12-year-old girl. I was so ashamed. I couldn't tell anybody. I caught him again with another girl. He ran me down with his cutlass. I caught him with one of my schoolmates. He beat me almost to death.

We went to England and he got involved with a white married woman. This woman had her husband and yet he got her pregnant. When the baby was born, the white girl told her husband he was not the father of the child. The father of the child was my husband.

We came home to Jamaica and he got a young girl pregnant. He told me the baby is his, so I can go and kill myself. I took the child when she was six. By the time she left me, she had nine subjects. My husband is now dead.

E.S

Dear E.S.,

In your letter, you have not said once that you loved this man. You were young, very obedient to your parents and did whatever they told you to. This man said he liked you. He went to your mother and she spoke to your father. Both might have thought it was better for you to have this much older man in your life than to allow a younger man to play along and bring pain to your heart. So, I understand. You didn't even object.

Looking back, I am sure you understand why some girls become rebellious and object strongly to their parents when they try to choose for them. Perhaps you were not ready for a man in your life, but I rather suspect this man had a few dollars and your parents felt they would benefit if both of you had a relationship.

Well, it happened but the man treated you like a door mat. He stepped right over you. He was a paedophile.

When you caught him having sex with the 12-year-old, you should have reported him and he should have been arrested, tried and sentenced to prison. He was a man out of control and I am sure it was because you confronted him and talked to him about his behaviour why he ran you down with a cutlass. After returning from England, he got another young girl pregnant. He told you to go kill yourself.

As a strong woman, you didn't kill yourself. God sustained you. You are a marvellous woman. You took the child, raised her, sent her to school and she has gained nine subjects. I congratulate you for supporting this child.

My darling, you have much to give God thanks for. You are alive and God is sustaining you. God will reward you in his own way. I hope you are active in church. I thank you for writing. God bless you and please write again.

Pastor