Greetings in the wonderful name of Jesus. I hope you can help me. I am 23 and have a girlfriend. She is 25. Both of us are Christians. She has a child who is three but she and the father are not friends. Both of us got baptised on the same day and she is very spiritual. I learnt a lot from her. We are close friends. Our church sisters and brothers are encouraging us to get married.

My mother has six of us with four different men. A church brother told me I should marry a younger woman from the church, not this young woman who already has a child. I told him my mother is married and, if the man she is married to, had believed, like him, he would have never married her.

I was not circumcised and my girlfriend told me I should get circumcised because it would be better when we are having sex, so I am asking for your advice.

R.M

Dear R.M.,

Your fiancée is wrong. A man does not have to be circumcised to perform well in bed. Surveys have shown some women prefer uncircumcised men. They claim uncircumcised men perform better and sex with them is more enjoyable. I don't want to say anything that will upset your girlfriend. In our culture, one reason why doctors encourage parents to circumcise their males is to prevent infection and avoid smegma which develops under the foreskin.

An uncircumcised man should take special care, when he is having his shower, to pull back the foreskin and clean carefully his penis, especially around the glands.

Among Jews and Muslims, circumcision was practised for religious reasons but, in our culture, it is done for better hygiene, but it is not necessary.

So, my dear brother, you should not be concerned about not being circumcised. However, you may want to discuss this matter with a medical doctor.

Pastor