Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you and your hard-working staff. This is the first time I am writing to you but I read your column everyday and I listen to your radio show. I am 41 and my husband is 32. When I was planning to get married to him, some people in the church told me that I shouldn't because rumour had it that he has lots of women. But he said he had changed and he started coming to church every Sunday. We have sex almost every night and he will come to church on Sunday mornings but go out with his friends on Sunday nights.

I found condom in his pants pocket and I asked him about it. He said that he just had them there for safe keeping. He admitted that he had sex a few times since we got married, so one Sunday when he was going out I took up the condoms and left them on the table. When I came home he was not there, neither was the pack of condom. After I woke up the morning, I searched his pocket. There were three condoms in the pack but only one was left. I talked to him quietly and nicely and he told me that he had sex twice that night, with two different girls.

I can't tell anybody about what I am going through because they warned me that he is wild. Right now he is not working and I have to be footing the bills. We don't have our own home. We are renting from my sister and sometimes when I don't have the money I tell her and she says not to pay her for that month.

He borrows money from people and don't pay them back and I have to pay them for him. Whenever I talk to him about getting a job, he says he wants to do his own business, he does not want to work for anybody. I can't save any money, but I love him. My sister says I should divorce him but my church is against divorce.

H.A.

Dear H.A.,

Do not allow anybody to tell you what to do because they tried and failed when you told them that this guy and you were planning to get married. Now that the marriage is in trouble, make your own decision. I do know for a fact that you would make the correct decision when pressure reaches you. You wouldn't even remember the position the church has taken. You know this man is having sex with other women, so protect yourself by insisting that he uses the condom when having sex with you.

Pastor