Dear Pastor,

Please keep up the good work. I am 19 years old and am about to go live with a man who could be my father. I met him at a club and he asked me for my number and I gave it to him. I was staying with my relatives. This man encouraged me to go out with him. I went out with him for the first night. He told me I shouldn't be afraid of him because he wouldn't hurt me in any way, and he had daughters, and he wouldn't want anybody to hurt his daughters.

I went out with him the Friday evening, the Saturday evening, and the Sunday evening. Then I told him that I would like to know where he lived because he told me that he was not living with a woman. He took me to where he lived on the Sunday night and I slept with him, and when I went home early the Monday morning, my folks were very worried because they did not know where I was.

On the Monday morning, I asked him if he wasn't going to give me any money to buy stuff, and he told me no because that would look as if he was paying me for sex. I told him all right, but he should not expect us to go out again. I kept calling his cell phone and he didn't answer until the Wednesday, somebody answered, and I asked for him, and she said, 'who are you?' and I said a friend. Then she said that she was his daughter and he was in the hospital.

I was afraid that something had gone wrong with him. I didn't call back. Then one day, I heard from him. I asked him what had happened and he said they kept him in the hospital for observation, but he was all right. I went to see him at a place he wanted us to meet, and he gave me $35,000 and told me to take care of myself until he got better. He is better now, but I don't see him very often. He tells me that I should go back to school and he will help me.

He said he has to learn to eat healthy and he wants somebody to take care of him because all his children, are abroad and his ex-wife is living there, too. He also said if I wanted to take up the challenge, it was all right with him. I am scared to take up the challenge, so I want you to give me your fatherly advice.

B.C.

Dear B.C.,

I have observed that you have not said whether you love this man or not. Was it love why he took you out for three nights, or was it to get you to feel comfortable around him? I believe the latter is correct. I am sure that this man can pay somebody to take care of him, so if you were to take up the challenge, it would be much more than taking care of him. It would be meeting his needs in every way.

You are only 19 years old and you have already gone to bed with the man. It is unlikely that you would stop seeing him. You need to go back to school, and this man has promised to help you, but it is going to come with a cost. He has children who are probably older than you are. How would his children feel to know that you are living with their dad as his woman?

I can't encourage you to live in concubinage. Perhaps you should tell this man that you would be willing to be his helper until you can find another place to work and that both of you should have an understanding that both of you would not be sexually involved.

Pastor