Dear Pastor,

I am a 20-year-old young woman and I have a boyfriend. I am a Christian and he belongs to a totally different faith (not Adventist, although he worships on Saturdays). I do not love his denomination but I love him. He is more than a boyfriend, he is my confidant. He gives me anything I ask him for and he doesn't ask me for sex. It took us one year to have sex. And I am ashamed to say that I was the one who initiated it because I wasn't sure what he can do as he wasn't asking for sex.

I had a boyfriend before when I was 17 years old and it only took us two weeks to have sex. He took my virginity and then after that I found out that he had a babymother so we broke up. This man respects me, he tells me he is not forcing me into his denomination, but if we get married I would have to come with him. And I would also have to change the way I dress.

I met his parents, two of his sisters and one brother. They are not members of his denomination. His mother asked me if I can cope with his faith and I told her I don't know. She told me I can come to the house anytime because I am the only girl that he has introduced to them. I don't know what to do, Pastor. My pastor told me that I shouldn't become a part of that religion and if I marry this man I would be unequally yoked because he does not believe in Christ. I want to know what to do because I don't want to be guilty of fornication. So please tell me what to do.

H.R

Dear H.R,

You are a young girl and I believe that you are in love. And you want to please your man but at the same time you do not want to become a part of his religious faith. Although this man is not forcing you to join his denomination, he is hoping that you would do so without undue pressure. Whether or not you want to agree with what I am saying is neither here nor there. But there'll be no marriage if you do not become a part of his denomination. And if you want to marry him it is just a matter of time before you join his religious faith.

Your worshipping on Sundays and he on Saturdays is one of the issues, but you would also have to learn to give up the way you dress. Are you willing to do so? Are you also willing to change what you eat?

I could see why your minister told you that to marry this man you would be unequally yoked. You are a believer in Christ and he is not. That can pose a problem. You are sexually active and it is evident that you like sex. I suggest that you ask this man to accompany you to see your pastor. Face it, your pastor is your spiritual leader. Don't do anything that will cause you regret in the years ahead. Please write me again.

Pastor