Dear Pastor,

Keep up the good work you are doing. I want some advice from a male perspective, so I hope you can help me. I am fortunate to have my wife. Words cannot describe how much I love her. We have a very good relationship. We are open, honest and committed to each other. We have no problem showing affection. We are not rich, but we save and travel and have adventures. She is a beautiful and hardworking professional. She gets home before me. I love opening the door when I get home because she surprises me with cowfoot or oxtail dinner, back rubs and she makes me feel good. The sex is amazing.

I never knew relationships existed where two people really love each other the way we do. I will not lose this woman. We have been married for a while, and we recently welcomed our first baby. She seemed fine and excited until after the baby was born. She had a really difficult labour and delivery. To be honest, it scared the hell out of me, the blood, sweat, tears, and screams. She was red in the face. It was the first time that I ever saw her in so much pain. I cursed so many bad words as well. I felt ill, I kept punching myself to tough it out, but nothing could have prepared me for the sight. Afterwards, she didn't want to hold the baby. Now she cries a lot. She doesn't seem happy. She has anxiety attacks and she suffers from tiredness and fatigue. She tosses in her sleep. She doesn't eat much.

I not sure, but she seems timid around the baby. What is wrong with her? She doesn't want to speak to anyone, and she's usually friendly. I'm not sure what to do. Is this normal? Will she be like this when we have more children? How can she get back to her normal self? I'm wondering what I can do. Our baby is two weeks old.

S.M.

Dear S.M.

This woman needs help with the baby, and if she doesn't get help, her condition will worsen. The best thing you can do for her is to listen to her and employ someone to assist her during the days. An older and mature woman who has children would be the ideal person. If any female relative can come to the house and assist her with the baby for a period of time, then that would be the ideal thing to do.

Remember that your wife is inexperienced. This is her first child. She should not be left alone to take care of this baby. She needs a lot of rest. So if you love your wife as much as you have stated, get her some help. It is a big change in her life, so please understand. If she continues to feel very tired, encourage her to go see a doctor.

Pastor