I have a boyfriend and whenever I go to see him, he wants me to cook. He is a security guard and he gets his day off on a Sunday. I go to church, and after church, I go to see him. Whenever I go to his house, the place is very clean and I don't have to wash for him because he gets up early and he does his own washing and he seasons the meat. Whenever I cook and we have dinner, all he wants from me is to stay in the bedroom and watch pornography and give him sex until it is time for me to go home.

My boyfriend is addicted to porn and because of him, I find that I like to look at it, too. I did not like to see two girls making love to each other, but now I look at them. I would like to get married, but I wouldn't want my husband to spend so much time looking at porn when he should be paying me more attention. I told him that too much porn is not good. But he says that when I am not around, that is how he gets his entertainment. But, tell me pastor, why is it that when I am around he still watches porn?

H.D

Dear H.D.,

Evidently, your boyfriend is addicted to porn. He doesn't want to admit it, but it is the truth. He is doing his best to make you very comfortable in watching it.

You have asked a good question: if the reason for his watching porn so much is because you are not with him, then why does he look at it when you are visiting him? Evidently, he likes watching porn. People who are addicted to porn have said that it is one of the most difficult habits to break but unless the one who is addicted is willing to get over his addiction, he will never stop.

Your boyfriend doesn't see anything wrong with watching. You feel uncomfortable, so you should not join him and watch it. Such influence is not good.

Men who are addicted to porn will sometimes leave their wives in bed sleeping and go to view porn. You are not married to this man, but perhaps you should encourage him to see a psychologist and discuss the matter with him.

Pastor