Anal-Kline

Alkaline - File

People, last week mi say dancehall mash up. But it look like it wash up. Anal-Kline, aka Alkaline, decide say him want di woman dem fi put dem tongue deh so. First of all missa sir, you weigh 76 pounds, u nuh stay good. Second of all, di only wash you need fi get is a wash out. But look pon yuh tuh! Di business mash up fi tru.

Tommy Lee, you salt bad!

Tommy Lee Sparta - file

Tommy Lee Sparta please me a beg you fi go make dem pray fi you because you salt baaadddd. Dem send private jet fi fly you go Dominica and as you land di people dem lock dung di place because dem don't want you deh. Mi nuh know a wha tek Dominica because dem barely deh pon the world map. Nobody nuh bizniz wid di country so dem shudda glad artiste a go over deh go perform. Mi glad how you lawyer a go sue dem. A dat unuh fi do. Sue dem and tek dem money.

Almost every week Mr Vegas inna THE STAR. Vegas say him a clean up dancehall so him call out Alkaline bout him demon ting and Matterhorn bout di wig ting. Everybody look like a dem a dancehall prefect. Like a dem name Dancehall Prime Minister. Bless up all clean heart people. Keisha Roun' Up deh ya again and mi have the niceness fi let off pon unuh.

Lorde, hate is a strong word

Lorde

International artiste Lorde say she hate reggae music. Everybody nuh haffi like everything but HATE is a very strong word. Lorde, you always look like smeagol from Lord of the Rings. You always look like you a have seizure when you deh pon stage a try move you crawny body. If you need fi HATE anything, you need fi HATE you age paper. A nuh our fault say you a 17 and look like 3 million. A nuh our fault say you caan sing live. Gwaan from ya Miss One Hit Wonder.

'Holy' tattoo

Mi a read STAR wha day ya and see a man tattoo Jesus and God pon him face because him claim say he was chosen by God. Sir, if God choose you, why you haffi tattoo him name pon yuh? A remind ya try remind God? You nuh think him memba you? You claim say God a come April 29 at 12:01. So since God soon come, empty out you bank book and send you money come give me cause you nuh need it. My Bible tell me say no man knows the hour when God a come, so a how you get the date? You a read God mind or wha?