Dear Pastor,

I am a 37-year-old woman. I fell in love with a 54-year-old man. We were good friends. I had one child by him, but the child died. Now I am three months pregnant. One Sunday night, I overheard him telling a woman that he loves her. I asked him who is the person he was talking to and he said his niece. I told him that I was coming by his house. He told me not to come. I asked him again on the Friday. He told me no again. I asked him if what he is doing to me he would like another man to do to his daughter. He cursed me and told me he didn't want me and he did not make any arrangement with me to have a baby. So it is my child and he doesn't want anything to do with me and the baby. When he told me that, I became angry but what hurt me more, he put a woman on the phone to curse me. I love him; I don't know what to do. I forgave, him but he left me. I have not done him any wrong.

Pregnant Woman

Dear Pregnant Woman,

If this man wanted to leave you, he could have done so in peace. He didn't have to abuse you and embarrass you by having another woman to come on the phone and curse you. He said that he did not make any arrangement for you to have a child. He spoke like an ignorant man. He should have done something to protect you from getting pregnant and you should have protected yourself too.

not one-sided

So it was not a one-sided thing. He is not a good man. Good men don't abuse their women and curse them when they become pregnant. I hope that your relatives and friends would stand by you and help you during your pregnancy. I believe that you love this man, but you are a grown woman and at 37, you expect that a 54 year old man would be more responsible. He cannot do what the young guys can do. He may think that he can, but he cannot.

If after you have given birth and this man refuses to give you child support, take him to court and just tell the court the truth and tell the Magistrate that you would like him to pay the maintenance money through the court. If he wants to have another woman in his life it is up to him, but don't try to beg him anymore to come back to you because evidently, he has made his decision not to go further in the relationship with you.

Pastor