Dear Pastor,

I am a 24-year-old man. My girlfriend is also 24. We are engaged to be married, but my girlfriend does not like to have sex. If she has sex with me three times per week she says that is enough, and to me it is not enough. I told her I don't want to cheat. I have been having sex from I was 15 and I like to have sex. Whenever I touch her at nights and she gives me sex and I want to go another round she tries to push me off and she says she wants to sleep. Sometimes I try to have sex with her early in the morning before she goes to work and she becomes very angry. I told her that she should give me back the engagement ring and I will find another girl because I would not let her wear my ring and I can't have sex with her.

We went and made arrangement where we can get married and have the reception right there. But now I have second thoughts. I want only to get married once and not to think about a divorce, so it is better for me to leave her now. But the engagement ring, I want it back if I leave her because I saved a long time to buy her this ring. She is fat and nice and I like fat women, but she is not giving me what I want. I asked her if she is seeing someone else and she said no, but I must learn to control myself. I am controlling myself, but three times a week is not enough.

I used to have a girlfriend and when she came to stay with me, we used to have sex day and night. I could hardly keep up with her. I am asking you for your advice because this is the only problem I am having with my girlfriend. She is a very clean woman and she doesn't run around and she doesn't have any children. I don't have children either. They can wait until we are married.

Sometimes when I force her to have sex with me, she would just lie on her back on the bed still and do nothing until I am finished. I don't like that. Our wedding is planned for August 2015. We are to make a downpayment very soon, but I am having second thoughts. And if she really knows how I am feeling she would just give me what I want. So, Pastor, I am hoping to get good advice from you.

R.S

Dear R.S.,

You are a very fortunate man to have such a wonderful woman. She is very nice, she is decent, she is clean and she respects you. Both of you have sex at least three times a week, so why is it that you cannot be satisfied with that? She is a working woman. Why can't you exercise some self-control? You would be making a big mistake to end the relationship with this woman just because you believe that she is not giving you enough sex.

Is it only sex you want from this woman? If that's all you want, the time will come when you are going to be tired of her and you would likely go and seek someone else. Marriage is not only for sex, it is also for companionship and comfort. Sex within the bond of marriage is wonderful. Both of you are not yet married and yet you are demanding so much of this woman. No man, cool it. Learn to love the woman without demanding sex from her.

And by the way, you may indeed find a woman who will give you sex every night. In fact, more than once for the night, but that is all she would have to offer, nothing else. So young man, keep yourself quiet. And please remember that if you were to leave this woman she would not be under any obligation to give you back the engagement ring because it belongs to her.

Pastor