I am 20 and my boyfriend is in prison. He is not going to leave prison until five years' time, so I will be 25 then. I am having a problem because I told him I would be faithful to him and not get involved with anybody; I would wait for him and, when he comes out, we would pick up from where we left off. Pastor, I cannot wait anymore.

I used to cry a lot when he first went to prison but I don't cry anymore because I met another man and he is treating me well. I was very nervous, at first, when this man told me that he loves me. I waited three months before I had sex with him. Now, although I feel guilty, I am happy I met this man.

I told my mother about him and she told me to tell my father, which I did, and both of them met my new boyfriend and like him. My mother told me to tell my boyfriend who is in prison that our relationship is over, but my father disagrees. He said the only time I should tell him is if my new boyfriend proposes to me, then I should let the guy who is in prison know I am getting married to another man. Pastor, please give me your advice.

A.T

Dear A.T.,

What did this man do for you before he went to prison? Did he do anything special? You made a commitment to him that you would remain faithful while he is in prison, but you have broken that promise. Perhaps you were naive when you made that promise. Now, another man is in your life and mom and dad have given you advice. Mom says, "Tell him that it is over." Dad says, "Keep your mouth shut." Both mom and dad mean well.

I say, let this relationship that you are having with this new man go on for another year and, during that time, don't communicate often with the man in prison. When he sees that you are not visiting him as often, he will ask the question, "Do you have another man in your life?" The answer should be, "Someone is deeply interested in me and I have got to love him." Don't be bold enough to tell him now, wait until he asks.

Pastor