Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you. I am writing for your advice. I read your column and listen to your radio show. My wife and I have been married for 10 years. We have five children. We lived together before we got married. I am 10 years older than she is. She didn't have a problem with me until she started to travel. Now, whenever I talk to her, she tells me it is time for us to get a divorce because she can have better.

I took her in when she became pregnant after her mother threw her out. She got pregnant and the guy said the child wasn't his. He even told her to do an abortion.

She doesn't know the father, so I took her with the belly and took the child as my own. To this day, the child doesn't know I am not her real father. She looks just like me, but she's not my biological child. She is so sweet and obedient. I really love her.

I bought a piece of land and we built a house. It's not a fancy place, but we are comfortable. I am not a saint. I cheated and my wife found out and we talked it over.

She didn't leave the house then, but now she said she hates Jamaica. She told a friend she is not going to stay with me because she found somebody in America who can help her.

When I heard, I came home and searched the house to see if I could find her passport but didn't find it. I don't know where she put it.

There is nothing that I have that I wouldn't give to her. I don't believe I could survive if she left me.

Pastor, I don't know what to do. Should I make up my mind and allow her to go and do whatever she wants? When she goes to America and works, she doesn't send anything to me, but I don't make that bother me because I am still working.

I asked her if she has a man in America. she said no and started to argue and curse. I told her I was sorry I asked. I never used to have to urge her to have sex with me. Nowadays, I have to coax her. I am a man who likes to have sex. Please tell me what you think I should do.

S.D

Dear S.D.,

This is not a marriage you should fight to keep. You will lose the battle. This woman's attitude proves she is not interested in the marriage. She might go away and get a divorce, and if she feels like it, she may send you a copy of the divorce absolute, or she might keep you in ignorance. She is buying time.

If you believe you can't do without this woman, tell her you would like her to agree to see a family counsellor.

Pastor