Dear Pastor,

I have always admired your good work ever since I was old enough to read, and fully understand the contents of what you publish. Please keep up the excellent work.

I am 22 years old and I have a degree in chemistry, and i also work (moving on to a degree in mortuary science next year). I have been paying my way through life by myself so far. My problem is that I am an extremely lonely and unhappy person. I have just a handful of friends whom I hardly see on a regular basis. I recently moved from Kingston to another parish to work, so now I don't see them at all. I would think I find it rather challenging to make friends.

Whenever I meet someone new and exchange contact information, I often do not keep in contact (females, that is). At this new house I am renting there is another tenant there. I have been there a week and she wants to comb my hair and help me clean, which I find very awkward since I have never done such things with a female before. She has even gone shopping with me. She wants us to cook together and have girl talks. She lives with her boyfriend. I am not sure how to deal with that. Eighty per cent of the time, she is here. I wished she would leave me alone.

Is it okay to want to be by myself? Another thing is that I don't have a boyfriend and never had one, not throughout high school or college. I meet guys now and then, but for some reason or the other, it never works out (mainly because they always want sex, and I am not the type to have sex with someone I hardly know, or who I know just wants sex from me). I am often told that I am weird.

In August, I met a guy. He is 32 years old. We ended up being friends. We would chat for hours, oftentimes from evening till sunrise literally, and text all day, every day. The thing was, he was unavailable, but I went with the flow because the other guys around, unlike him, were asking for sex. And at the time, I was on summer internship where I was stuck in a lab all day, not interacting with anybody, so at night, we would meet somewhere and just talk about how our day went, etc.

I liked him and the way he made me feel. He made me feel wanted. When I spoke with him, it was mainly through texts. We would talk all day, and he would ask about me and my job. I thought he cared. He said he cared. I half believed him. He wanted a relationship (I never hinted this though I liked him). We had sex in October (I had not for 13 months). During sex, I made him cut my wrist and a few weeks after, he disappeared on me.

Two months later, I met another guy. He was okay. I wanted to cut him during sex and add a drop of his blood to my glass slide as a collectible, but he got very angry, extremely angry. We had sex and during sex I cut myself instead. He went totally quiet on me and left immediately afterwards. I didn't hear from him again. I wasn't devastated or anything because he left. In fact, I was more pissed that I didn't find a better way to get the blood sample.

Do you think something is wrong with what I am doing? With the first guy, I really liked him and I guess that was the only way I could really show him how I felt about him, because when he asked, the words couldn't formulate anything intelligent to say. Also, the feeling was extremely great as the blood turned me on a lot. I cut myself whenever I feel lonely and sad, and that is many times.

Now people at work have started to ask questions and my excuses are running out. I know you will advise about safety, but I do sterilise my razors. Also, in the first case, the guy was a doctor so I knew I would not bleed to death.

Pastor, I really want to stop, but when I think about my life sometimes, and the fact that I have to do everything on my own, I feel sad. I just can't help it. I feel a momentary self-relief when I cut. Other times, it might be something I remember, like the way I was treated when I was younger. I always had self-esteem issues, thinking all the time that I wasn't good enough, or that I was nothing and that nobody liked me. My brother told me no man would ever be interested in me and a few summers ago, my boss told me the same thing.

I would like to stop and I know that my happiness should not depend on a man, but I think having a boyfriend would probably make things a little better. I would appreciate if you could refer me to anyone as well. People often say I am very beautiful. I am really looking forward to a response.

Sex Cutter

Dear Sex Cutter,

I thank you for writing. I am pleased that you enjoy reading my column. Your letter indicates that you are a bright and intelligent young woman. However, I am deeply concerned about the things you are doing to yourself and to others. I love you and I want you to accept that what I am about to say, I am saying it out of love.

Some of your actions indicate that you are suffering from some sort of abnormality. It is not normal for a person to cut the wrist of her partner while having sex or to cut her own wrist. And the two guys who witnessed that type of behaviour ended their friendship with you immediately. They did so because they believed that if they had continued to be intimate with you, they could have been accused of abusing you and be arrested, tried and perhaps imprisoned. They left also because they consider you to be emotionally unstable, and that you need psychotherapy.

Please understand that I am not condemning you in any form. I am only trying to say that your condition may worsen if you do not get professional help. You are a danger not only to others, but to yourself.

I want you to see a psychiatrist. I will send you the name and address of one I consider to be among the best, and I will also make myself available to assist you at your request. May God bless and help you. I assure you of my prayers.

Pastor