Pastor

I am a 15-year-old girl who has been involved with two brothers. It was my freshman year in high school when I fell in love with a boy who I thought was the one for me. He treated me really nicely, but we had a lot of issues, but besides that, we were in love. I first had feelings for his older brother, but he wanted my friend, so I backed off. Everything was fine, but I really didn't want him as much as I wanted his older brother. As time went on, we kept fighting, so he just ended it. He wanted me back, but by then, I had already moved on with his brother.

I am not a sexual person, but his brother got the chance and he took my virginity. I didn't want to do it, but I wasn't in my right frame of mind. After that night, things just kept getting better and better. At that point, his brother hated me. He wouldn't talk to me no matter how much I tried.

The relationship was going well, but then things started taking a turn for the worse. He got arrested for drugs. Then he went to a juvenile home. It was an alternative to being in a detention facility. He was still going to school, which was the only time I could see him, which was a perk, but then I started getting into trouble. I was missing classes, not doing my work, and my grades were dropping rapidly.

He claims he loves me all the time and I feel the same way, but I don't think the relationship is going to work, and I want to end it, but he has anger issues and I'm scared to end it. What should I do?

Scared

Dear Scared,

I need not tell you that having two brothers as your lovers was the wrong thing to do. I need not condemn you for that because you are aware that you made mistakes. What you are trying to do now is to end the relationship with the brother with whom you have been having sex. However, you are scared because you believe that he might hurt you. You cannot, however, allow that to prevent you from doing what you believe is right.

You will have to trust someone. I suggest that you talk to your guidance counsellor at your school. He or she would understand that a girl could become involved with guys at a very tender age, and that is why it is important to have parents who will listen to their children and not condemn them. Evidently, you have not had parental guidance and your body was controlling your mind, so to speak. You saw yourself as a woman who was ready for a man, but in reality, you were not.

You will also have to tell this guy that you are aware that your life is going in the wrong direction and that you would like to turn it around and go in a different direction, which would mean that he would not be part of your life anymore. It is likely that he would protest and tell you that he disagrees with what you are doing and that he has no desire to end the relationship with you. However, you will have to be determined not to go further with the relationship.

If he threatens you, you should report him to the police and ask the police to give him a warning. You should make a written complaint to the police and inform your parents or guardians of his threats. You should also stop calling him or accepting his calls. Do not visit him or send him text messages. You should tell your friends who know about the relationship that you are not interested in this guy anymore so they should not take messages from him to give to you.

I wish you well. I beg you, please put your life into your studies. I believe you will do well. Let me hear from you again.

Pastor