Dear Pastor,

I live in the States and I have two sisters in Jamaica. Both are living with men. One is only 30 and she has four children. The other has only one. The men they are living with do not believe in hard work. Every morning, they get up and are on the roadside digging out their palms. I try to help my sisters by sending them money, but I feel so discouraged because my sisters are feeding these men with my money that I work for in the cold.

I was in Jamaica some months ago and I did some work on the family house, and told my sisters that nobody should sleep in my room. I put on a bathroom to my room and locked it up. I understand that since I left, one of my sisters moved in there with her man. I called her and told her to get out. And can you imagine what her man said? He said nobody is going to get him out of that room. I have two other brothers and they do not send any money to my sisters because they are not ambitious.

Sometimes, I believe that my father is rolling over in his grave because he was a Christian and he raised his children to be Christians, and I am ashamed to see what these girls have become. I don't believe that I am going back there, and I am going to stop sending them money. Pastor, why is it that these men don't want to work?

S.T.

Dear S.T.,

Your sisters are using you because you are too kind to them. You have been sending money to them and they believe that your money comes to you easily. They don't understand that you have had to work hard.

I agree with you, when you send money to your sisters to help them, it is also used to feed these lazy men. I know you meant well when you tried to repair the family home and added a bathroom, but I am not surprised that they have taken over that room.

I am going to suggest to you, please do not do any more work on that house as long as these men are in the house. Your life is more important than the family house. Whenever you are returning to Jamaica for a holiday, book a room in a guest house or a hotel, or stay with good friends.

Encourage your sisters to go out and learn skills to empower themselves. Tell them that you will find another place to put your money instead of sending it to them. You have spoilt your sisters. Instead of working for themselves, you have got them to be looking to you for support. Bring an end to that now.

Pastor