I am 27 years old and dating a 43-year-old man who has two children. He is a great father to them. For the most part he treats me well. He even surprised me with the option of not working when I am pregnant or up to a year after having a child. I don't think it is something he is able to afford. He even helps me by doing my laundry sometimes.

The problem is, I think in three to five years this would not be enough for me. I make about one-third more than he does. I have worked really hard and so have my parents to put me through school. I just want to give myself the best chance in having the one life I envisioned for myself. Should I feel guilty about breaking up with this man?

Concerned Girlfriend.

Dear Concerned Girlfriend,

This man is promising you what you know he can't afford. Some men think that to get a woman they have to promise them silver and gold and all the extras. And while they are making the promises, intelligent girls laugh at them. Silly girls believe them, but you are not silly and you know what he earns and what you earn. So how could a man who is earning less than you suggest that when he gets you pregnant (which may never happen) he wants you to stay home and he would pay all the bills, even up to a year after you have had the baby. That man has knocked his head, as we say in this country. And the blows have affected him.

If you don't have anybody who is interested in dating you, I suggest that you continue to go out with him. But let him know that this relationship cannot continue. Don't drop him like a hot cake because he means you well. However, he is not the type of man you should consider marrying.

Pastor